Insights From The Front Line

Insights from the front line of communications training and conflict resolution….

Plus my top tips for improvement

What a week it has been in the world of communications coaching and training, from private sessions, small business training and a full day public workshop specifically for the building industry, I have only had solid confirmations of what I already knew.

Almost all conflict originally stems from a few things, and there is something we can all do about it before there is ‘blood on the floor’.

1. Misunderstood or misinterpreted communication
2. Difference of opinions or perceptions
3. Unmet expectations
4. Assumptions, judgements or pre-conceived ideas
5. Personality ‘clashes’

From there, how it works out all depends on how things are handled or not handled, and what type of culture or environment there is in that work place for training, support and ongoing awareness around healthy communication and conflict resolution.

We can all take 100% responsibility for our own communication and when we make positive changes, even one small thing can create a positive ripple effect on those around us, so whilst we can’t change others we can change ourselves.

Let’s unpack a little to get better clarity on what I may mean

1. Misunderstood or misinterpreted communication

This is fuelled by our modern technology driven world, our kids being taught from a young age that communication can be done any other way than in person, faster, easier, less confronting and yes impersonal. Emails, txt messages and instant messages have their place in the world for sure, I use them every day, but they are not meant to handle every type of conversation, there is far too much room for interpretation. Important conversations should always happen in person.

I see business owners, managers, sales people ‘hide’ behind a computer or phone, and when they know they need to pick up a phone and have a chat or set up a meeting in person they send an email or txt, because its ‘easier’ ‘less confrontational’ ‘they don’t have time’ etc etc etc….

We cannot expect an electronic device or typed email to ever replace the basic human need to hear a nice voice on the other end of the phone or even better face to face in a meeting or over a coffee.

2. Difference of opinions or perceptions

I love the saying that ‘perception is reality’ this is true for us all, and if we all approached communication with others with an open mind, consider for a moment that another person may in fact have a different view but valid because its theirs, and not try to be right all the time or win an argument, we can in fact be perfectly happy in the world by agreeing to disagree.

3. Unmet expectations

Someone is late for a deadline, over promised and underdelivered, or didn’t behave in a way we expected – this is all fuel to a fire of conflict if not approached in a healthy way.

My biggest freedom from disappointment when it comes from others behaviour was when I learned to let go of my expectations, stop expecting people to be like me, think like me, communicate like me. We are all different – THANK goodness for that!

4. Hot on the heals is – Assumptions, judgements or pre-conceived ideas

My rule of thumb in most cases of life and work is never assume anything, always ASK! Or find out.

We can default to making assumptions about what people meant by that comment, email or txt, in fact we can make anything MEAN anything we like, we have a choice! Isn’t that freedom?

OR we can find out what they did mean by asking a clarifying question.

Assumptions or pre-judgements about others, what they said and did is not useful for clear and effective communication, it is not useful in creating harmonious working environments, because we as humans are self-focussed we often assume wrong, make it about us personally and it was nothing to do with us in the first place! Don’t even get me started on the ‘judgement’ topic!

5. Personality clashes

The great news is we are all created differently, the challenging news is…..we are all created differently!

We all need each other, we could not possibly have a functioning world full of one personality type.

I prefer to see other strengths as complimentary to mine, even the ones that are so opposite and I struggle to relate to or understand, they do things well that I don’t. They are often happy doing things I am not. They often see things I don’t, and like it or not that is necessary in some situations. Our goal in the world should be to better understand others around us not seek to change them.

Tips for improving our own communication:

• Remember we are all human, not electronic robots
• We are all different and this is the GOOD news – we all need each other
• We can change our world by changing ourselves, even small tweaks have big impacts
• Check in with your default methods of communicating – are they working for you? Are they being received, responded to well? If not it may be time to find out what other way of delivery may work better.
• PICK up the phone – STOP and have a coffee/chat
• Have an arsenal of good questions to ask – the power is always in the questions we ask, ourselves and others?
• Improve your listening skills, if you are going to bother asking better questions be sure to listen to the answers, listen to understand rather than to respond.

Let’s change the world we live in, one conversation at a time

Jen

www.simplyconfident.net

Think Like A Watch Maker – Create Healthy Teams

NO people are not steel parts, rigid and disposable, but I believe we can learn a lot from looking at the inner workings of a clock or watch and apply some of these basic principals in order to grow or manage high functioning, healthy and productive teams in both small businesses or large organisations. The principals are the same, the application is variable based on size and level of dysfunction.

If we all thought and behaved the same, the world would not only be boring but almost unable to function.

We are all meant to be different, be able to see things differently, to have different natural talents, skills and abilities. This is the necessity of a functioning or even semi functioning world.

Think of an old-fashioned watch or clock, with all its bits and pieces, different sizes, different purposes. Each piece relying on another piece to function.

When I am working with clients who have small or medium business’s or even larger teams, most of the internal struggles they have with the people resource factor, is about people getting frustrated with another person, personality clashes, poor communication, differing opinions and views, un-fulfilled expectations. These are the core issues in most cases, the initial verbalised frustration will be something more minor, but if you dig deeper any or all of these things are usually at the core.

Sometimes driven by motives based on power, control, greed, pride or ego, lack of trust, or by someone lacking the skills to be in a particular role.

Even though a manager or a leader may be frustrated with a team’s inability to function in a healthy and productive manner, it is essential that the solutions begin at the top and filter down.

Liken a leader or manager to a watch maker – To become a watch maker is a skill, it takes a certain kind of patience, thinking, planning, skill set and practice.

I believe excellent management and leadership is a similar skill and some of the same principals apply when putting together a high functioning, healthy and productive team

Lets look at why the wrist watch functions the way it does:

Every part has its place:

It stays there, I can’t move except in the direction it is supposed to (unless it breaks). It is placed in there by a machine or human hand that knows exactly where that part needs to be in order to support its neighboring parts.

KEY POINT for human teams: Each person has a primary focus or function in a team, when a role is vacant and another person is trying to ‘juggle’ roles, you may see signs of overload, overwhelm and poor productivity. While this is sometimes necessary in transition, it should never be left un-attended or be seen as a long term solution, it is not sustainable.

Every part has its purpose:

Some parts are large and obvious, some are small. Some are support parts like screws and stays, others are functioning parts like wheels that rely on other wheels. Many parts are needed to make the watch work. Even the casing, that protects and keeps everything in place.

KEY POINT for human teams: Each person in a team is important to the overall purpose of the business or organisation, no matter how ‘front line’ or ‘back of house’ that role is, everything effects everything when it comes to a well-oiled and high functioning team. From the tiniest role to the leaders and managers.

Every part is needed:

In this illustration when one part breaks the whole watch stops, in an organisation or team this isn’t always the case with a human absence or malfunction, but there is no doubt that, depending on what that person’s function is in the team, there are ripple effects for others.

KEY POINT for human teams: The ripple effect, although variable, is real. When one person in an organisation is unhappy, under-skilled, under equipped, or over worked, there will be a negative ripple effect, it cannot be avoided, and the longer this is allowed to carry on, the bigger the impact will be.

Every part must work:

Each part of the watch must work, or it will have to be repaired or replaced, the watchmaker knows that if something is not working the watch stops working. With teams this can happen over time, and in subtle ways, slowly eroding a culture, relationships, productivity and ‘bottom lines’.

KEY POINT: Dealing with small issues early will prevent large more costly issues arising. Having a healthy transparent process for conflict resolution will avoid bigger issues. Creating a high trust, environment backed by clear processes for issues will empower and enable people to deal with situations as and when they arise.

Notes for existing teams:

• There is always a solution and a path through
• The time needed to clean up a dysfunctional team will depend on how long it has been left un attended

Back to the watch for a moment: If you have ever owned one this will make sense, if a bit of water gets in a watch that is not dive resistant, the watch is taken apart or dried somehow quickly the watch will most likely get working again without a further hitch.

IF the water is left in the watch and NOT cleaned up, the watch will rust, part by part, until the whole thing just stops working and becomes beyond repair.

• Always be prepared to start at the top down, with management, leadership. If that is you then be prepared and open to some self-awareness and learning. Don’t spend money ‘fixing’ your team if you are not prepared to get your hands dirty too.
• If the roles are clear, defined, filled with the right people working in their strengths, there is a clear, transparent process for dealing with conflicts as they arise, and healthy communication internally and externally – teams can become a high performing, high producing machines.

Notes for creating a new team in a growing organisation or business:

• Think like the watch maker, plan the roles ahead of time, know what you need each part to do, what skills they need, get the right people in from the start. If this is not your skill set INVEST in help, it doesn’t have to cost a fortune but it will be a great investment long term
• Outline and plan the culture you want to create by looking at your core values, company direction and long-term goals.

Final note for all, where there are people there will be conflict even in a healthy team, there is such a thing as HEALTHY conflict, and processes for dealing with it in a healthy way.

A conflict free zone is not possible in a high functioning team. The difference is made in how the conflicts arise and are faced, NOT avoided.

Avoiding or trying to avoid conflict almost never works. Its time to make friends with it, shake hands with it, and find out how to have a healthy relationship with it for the sake of the relationships in your world.

Go the watch maker!

Jen

www.simplyconfident.net

Cutting Corners Can Cost You Your Brand Reputation Not Just Money

2 Key points to consider and 6 Questions to help assess risk involved in big decisions

What has building law and compliance got to do with brand reputation?

After a recent case in the news and conversations with those who’s job it is to ensure these rules are kept I have identified 2 key ways that choosing to cut corners on a business renovation, new build or building Health and Safety compliance could impact a business, brand and reputation in the community and market.

1. Money
2. BRAND and reputation

One is sometimes recoverable the other not so straight forward.

My background is in marketing, business development and brand management, and lately I have been reminded how cutting corners even in the building industry can impact more than just your bank account, it can also impact your brand and reputation in the community and market place.

The irony about the #1 impact, Money, which is often first looked at, is that usually, this is the primary reason for noncompliance in the first case, people wanting to SAVE money.

Let’s look at brand and reputation, a much more ‘sticky’ spot for any business to find themselves, I have chosen to pick on a recent case that was publicised in the papers. This is a big topic and I realise that not every case has the same history, details or reasons but overall I believe my principals around brand and reputation apply in all cases.

Considering the recent successful prosecution of the blueberry and ice-cream brand OOB, one of the largest publicised fines handed down for building noncompliance in a while, I got to thinking about the brand impact of those early decisions made by the business owners.

Business is successful, it grows it needs more space. Or new business needs a building or more space in an existing one. Decisions are made! Sometimes advice is sought and in all fairness not given well or with the right intentions, in some cases advice may be ignored to save the immediate costs.

Either way that series of decisions, whatever the journey to make them, has cost this business a hefty $26k fine plus legal costs in money but maybe more importantly what has it cost them in reputation.

Some consumers may not realise or think deeply about what it can mean to not comply to the government standards for safe buildings and carry on eating the ice-cream without a care. I would say this is a minority though and I would like to think that most consumers in NZ expect the companies we claim ownership of in our clean, green and proud nation are providing not only a quality product but also a safe working environment for the staff and visitors.

I opened my freezer this morning to discover that the brand of blueberries I was about to enjoy for breakfast is in fact OOB! Immediately, I thought “oh those are the silly beggars who didn’t think they needed to comply with the building laws in NZ” I ate the blueberries, but I must say that I will think twice before purchasing their brand again.

They may have taken advice that set them up for a fall, but all business owners must realise the BUCK stops with them, and so does the reputation of the brand and company, who’s picture was in the paper with the big write up? The owners.

WHY such a harsh line? I hear you say…. Well what else, let’s not sit by and wait until another building collapses in a serious earthquake or fire killing or injuring people before we realise that the building laws are there to protect us all, and our families. Bottom line is that building laws save lives, and a company or organisation that constantly ignores the safety of the people they have in their buildings gives out a deeper message to the market and community they run in, they are more concerned about profit, expense cutting and time-saving than people’s lives.

Strategically it is always good practice to think through decisions, if this is not someone’s skill set they should seek help from someone who has this ability, to think through future projections, risk factors and possible scenarios. Above all else, the person or people who the ‘buck stops with’ need to take full responsibility for understanding any laws that may apply and factor them in from the start.

6 questions a business/Organisation could go through when making expansion or moving decisions around buildings, office space, manufacturing spaces, retail spaces and more

1. Do you (or your contractors) know what you can do in your building without building consent?
2. With any consented work have you finished the projects with a CCC?
3. What is the Gap assessment between what our building has now and current Code?
4. If we have a BWOF in our building and are all our systems safely working?
5. Do the right people in our organisation know what risks exist in our building and what we are doing to manage them in plain English
6. Could anyone get hurt, anytime in the future because of these decisions?

From a business strategy perspective, a good old fashioned cost analysis of any project should always include building compliance laws, cost of any upgrades and getting council consent.

If the project can’t fit into the budget it is not time to cut corners and potentially risk limbs and lives, it is time to look at alternative venues, buildings, or options.

Here is to a safer NZ

Jen Tyson

https://www.simplyconfident.net/

Awkward to Awesome – Networking for everyone

I believe, based on results and years of marketing and business promotional experience, networking should be among every business owners top 2 marketing strategies. It has one of the best return on investment for time and money, IF it is done intentionally well.

A lot of business owners and practitioners I talk to say that they don’t like to network or they haven’t found it to be effective. This can be because they don’t know how to do it well, they may have unrealistic expectations about the timing of results or the group of people they are networking with is the wrong fit for their business.

I do a lot of networking both online and off, and as a natural ‘people person’ who likes to talk, networking is relatively easy for me. But even if you’re a bit on the shy side or have reservations about the potential for success with networking, you can gain value from this marketing activity if you follow certain guidelines.

First, some things about the right attitude and approach that I have found to be vital when engaging in networking activities:

•  Build trustworthy relationships

To grow my business I focus on building strong and trustworthy relationships; we are all relational beings in life and business.

•  Prioritise your reputation

Your reputation in life and business is worth than any money and cannot be bought back if you compromise it, be sure you know what you want to be remembered for by every person you meet, never put your reputation on the line for short term gain.

• Two ears and one mouth

I practice being a good listener, and showing a genuine interest in others business first and foremost. Using classic and timeless communication skills such as, active listing, information feedback, and clarifying questions.

• No strings attached

I have a ‘no strings attached’ approach to conversations, whilst always staying alert to potential professional synergy or solutions suggestions, which aren’t always about me and my business.

• Be alert for potential synergy – Win/Win potential
• Under promise and over deliver

I find as I operate in this giving and sharing space, giving referrals, showing genuine interest in others success, and last but not least delivering more than expected in service and care, what goes around….definitely comes around.

 Some steps I personally find useful to get the most out of networking:

1. Choose well: Not every group of people will be right for you. Choose groups where people congregate who share your interests and/or are potential clients. Chambers of Commerce, men’s and women’s organizations, networking groups, special interest groups, and associations are all potential choices.

ALSO remember Social networking, choose the right networks for you!

2. Relationships matter: Networking is not about selling, but rather developing relationships that can lead to sales or referrals. The idea is to get to know people and allow them to get to know you.

Often, people approach networking with the hope of making a sale or getting a client after one visit to an appropriate group. That’s not how it works. People do business with those they know and trust and it can take time to build up that knowledge and trust. So approach a networking event without any expectation of getting new business. Instead go with the idea of meeting new people or schmoozing with those you’ve already gotten to know.

3. Dress well: Establish yourself as a successful person, which you can do by dressing the part. This does not mean that you need to wear expensive clothes, but do wear something a bit on the dressy side and leave the comfortable baggy pants at home. If necessary, get advice from an image consultant.

4. Be prepared: Bring plenty of business cards, but only give them to people who show a real interest in what you do. Brochures or printed postcards can also be effective. Also, craft a short description of what you do — no more than 10 or 15 seconds.

5. Mix and mingle: Many events have walk-around networking followed by a sit-down meeting of some sort. During the walk-around, do talk to people you have met before to enhance your relationship, but sit with people you don’t know in order to widen your network and meet potential customers. Here too, ask questions and listen.

6. Friendly faces: People attend networking events to meet others. If someone is standing alone, that’s the perfect opportunity to make a new contact. You might want to start the conversation by saying, “May I join you?”

7. Move on with ease: Don’t spend all of your time talking to one person. Gather the information you need, exchange business cards, if appropriate, and move on. I often say, “I’d like to do some mixing now. It’s been a pleasure speaking to you”

8. Helping others: Focus on what you can do for others, not what they can do for you. Perhaps you know someone who could use your prospects services. If you do, make the referral.

9. FOLLOW up: If you make a good connection with someone, after the event, send a note saying how much you enjoyed meeting them. If appropriate, send an article or some kind of information that they might find helpful. Do not add them to your mailing list without their permission

Remember: Networking is a process, not a one off event. It takes time to build strong business relationships and trust with people who interest you. Invite someone to a one on one meeting, in Venus we call this a ‘rave’ where you can get to know the person better and they will do the same.

Most business owners are looking for connections and new relationships so be bold and make that first step.

To your business success

Jen

https://www.simplyconfident.net/