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Become A Confident Communicator

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3 simple tips to improve communication and have great ‘vital conversations’

Influence key relationships and desired outcomes at work more, by taking a little time to plan your vital conversations

Rather than avoiding or winging them, stopping first to think about the conversation you need to have next, by asking yourself a few key questions before you launch into it, can make the difference between a productive and healthy outcome versus making things worse and less productive.

Vital conversations, you know the ones that you ‘should have’ or even know we need to have? I have chosen to call them ‘vital’, because I have come to understand through my work that there are conversations that are VITAL to building and maintaining healthy relationships at work. They are often avoided because of a fear or negative opinion about potential conflict.

You’ll experience greater freedom, happiness and productivity, by acknowledging and putting a small amount of forethought into having vital conversations.

3 Tips When Planning Vital Conversations

1. Think about your recipient or audience

Who are they as a person? What is their view? How might they be feeling?  How do they prefer or need to get the information you need to get across?
Eg: Sending someone who you know prefers a phone call, a quick txt on an important issue, may not get the results or response you want

2. Choose an appropriate channel

TXT’s are for friends, family, or quick messages like “Are you avail for a chat?” “I’m running late”, for apt reminders or client reminders.Emails are great to record information, back up conversations, but words can be misinterpreted in an email, and it is not the best platform for a healthy two-way conversation.Meeting in person is often the most productive way, but if it’s not possible pick up the phone

3. Be Purposeful

What are my intentions?  What would be my most desired outcome? Am I being honest and authentic? True to my values?
Sincerity shows, so does a lack of it!

Final word:

Your life is made up of relationships. And the nature of relating with people can cause conflict. When this arises remember how important it is to face the vital conversation, and now with these tips you can be purposeful while confident to have them well.


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Whoops – Did I just say that?

I have just interviewed 5 people in 5 days for a senior role! As part of a panel of 3 of course, not alone. Exhausting, fascinating and inspiring, are the top 3 words I would use to describe this past week. One thing in particular stood out to me, and here is an example of what not to do in an interview.

We all know that first impressions are everything and that there are a few seconds to make a good one, in an interview it can be really tough, the person is there under the spot light being ‘grilled’ by 3 people around a table. They are possibly nervous, and being asked questions that are forcing them to think on the fly.

BUT, there is a #1 rule that I believe everyone should remember.

Be 100% yourself! Be authentic, truthful and remember never to show a lack of integrity in your examples.

Lack of integrity, honesty and authenticity shows through, sometimes it takes half an interview but it seeps through cracks in what you are saying, body language, tone and other signals to the potential employers that you are not quite who you say you are.

Example: This person was interviewing so well for this role, they were just on fire, and we were all impressed, they had skills, background and connections, they were confident and did a great job. I was really liking how things were going, but then they gave an example of when some safety corners were cut by someone else and they had noticed it, and instead of doing something about it they said ” I just walked away hoping that the client didn’t see it”

It bugged me, and when we came together looking at what strengths and concerns were for each person we were strongly considering, this person was up in the top 2 for many reasons, but because of this integrity issue and maybe one other thing we decided to offer the job to the other contender.

I just couldn’t get past that comment, it cast doubt on everything else this person said. I know that sounds harsh and it could be just one of those slips like a ‘Whoops can’t believe I said that’ moment, but I guess we will never know, because in those critical moments during an interview there is no room for error on those factors.

There are things that can be trained, and up-skilled, but the deal breakers for me are integrity, authenticity and getting a sense you are who you say you are before I even do the background checks.

One of my favorite quotes:

Be yourself, everyone else is taken

Here is to being the best version of you that you can be


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Sales Conversations – What’s The Story?

Great sales conversations are made up of many skills, and almost all of them can be learned, but the #1 thing that needs to be addressed first is mindset.

After a coaching call today I wanted to share how I helped a young sales guy become unstuck.

The stuff going on in our heads before, during and after sales conversations directly impacts the results!

What are the negative stories you tell yourself? What did you make it mean last time someone said no or

the thing you were selling was too expensive or had objections or questions during a sales conversation?

I just had a coaching session with an awesome young sales person by phone, he had embraced his new assignment with gusto, only to have the wind knocked out of his sails by a couple of challenging calls.

He found that he just didn’t want to make the next call and had lost his confidence!

I asked him a question: “What are the stories you are telling yourself about these people you have to call?”

Some people also refer to these as ‘beliefs’ what are your limiting beliefs about that person or situation, often before you even get to ringing them. Here are a few common ones:

  • I don’t know enough, they might be too busy to take my call.
  • Who am I to ring them talk to them they are so much more …… (fill in the blank) than I am.
  • I am not (fill in the blank) enough.
  • They may ask a question I don’t know the answer to, therefore I don’t know enough (see number 1)
  • I will fail, they will know I don’t know enough, they will know I am young, new etc..

The list can go on, I call these ‘stories’, and we major in making them up! Most of the time they are just not true at all!

If you know you have some ‘stories’ that are not bringing the results you want, that you have made up in your head, then you have the power and the talent to re write those!

TIP: Write them down on a bit of paper, acknowledge them, and make a decision to re write those stories, to more positive perspectives. Try to step back from your negative story statements and ask ” is this true?” and then ” What is another way I can look at this?”

Some positive things you may choose to replace the negative ones with are:

  • They need what we have, I am trying to help them with a problem.
  • They have a problem I may have the solution.
  • I know my stuff and what I don’t know I can find out.
  • No doesn’t mean anything until I know what it means.
  • The most common story sales people tell themselves that no means is ” they don’t like me, they don’t want what I have, I am bothering them, etc”

Extra Tip: Ask Ask Ask – Powerful open ended questions are powerful in sales conversations, engage with them, ask powerful questions, be genuine and hone those listening skills.

If you can make up negative stories, you can make up positive ones too. I know you know this, Thoughts are things!

If you have stalled on your sales conversations or recently had a bad experience, take a few moments to ask yours “What are the stories I have made up about this situation?” and then “Are those stories true?” if not – re write them.

To your sales success